If Christians Had Chutzpah

It's December 27th and Christmas is only 2 days old...yes, 2 days. Catholic/Christians forget that up until the 25th it is Advent. Christmas is celebrated for 12 days and ends with the Feast of the Epiphany. I was told by a sage Episcopal priest that for Christians to rush about during Advent buying, wrapping and giving gifts along with Christmas cards that include a New Year greeting...is wrong. We have the luxury of sending out cards and giving gifts for almost 2 weeks longer, but like many original traditions...this, too, has been secularized. If Christians had chutzpah and abide by this tradition, we wouldn't be so rushed, stressed and often disappointed that "Christmas is over" on the 26th. Please, don't get me started.

If Christians had chutzpah we would push back against the commercialism that has nearly destroyed the true meaning of this Sacred Season.  The phrase, Jesus Is The Reason For The Season, has been said airily so many times that it has become a trite phrase that lacks conviction and meaning. Pablum.

Many Baby Boomers, and now their children, have raised brats...Christmas brats. We are willing to go into debt at Christmas to give them everything they've asked for. We can't say no. Once, two gifts and some candy or fruit in a stocking sufficed. Now if the kids and grand-kids don't open a minimum of 6 gifts....Christmas joy goes into the dumpster. If a family decided to give one gift and spend a certain sum on the needy instead, how many of our kids would be pleased? How many would understand that this IS the way to celebrate Christ's birth? And I'm not saying that needy children should get all the gifts either....hello? the lesson is for ALL Christians. I'm suggesting that $$ go to a charity for ill children, wounded veterans, soup kitchens, food banks, etc.

I'm tired of the Christmas bashing. I'm tired of feeling guilty because I believe that Christ is born on Christmas Day. Merry Christmas....horrors! Not on ads, not on flyers, not on the lips of the employees taking a Christian's God-given money. Please, don't get me started. If Christians had chutzpah we'd cash in our bargaining chips...don't buy but one gift for your child(ren). Remember the charities...and you'll see how quick the Merry Christmas banners will go up!

And what's with every group under the heavens being represented in the Town Square along side of the Nativity? This past Christmas, Karl Etters of the Tallahassee Democrat, reported that the Florida Capitol's holiday display would include a greeting from the Church of the Spaghetti Monster and the Satanic Temple. Read it here:  satanic-temple-joining-capitol-displays. What do these groups have to do with Christmas??? Do you really think that their " good wishes" are heart-felt? Do you really think that their desire to express their freedom of speech is to spread peace and love-the essence of the Christmas season? Humbug. Why does a Temple that represents the Evil One need or should be displayed at Christmas time? It, along with the Atheists and others of this ilk, have only one common reason for wanting to be represented....their animosity for Christ.  

This isn't Happy Holiday time, people, it's Christmas. I don't buy gifts for Thanksgiving....I don't buy gifts for New Year's Eve. I buy as a nod to the Magi...gifts from the Three Wise Men to the Savior of the World.  Oh, non-Christian business owner....alert! if Christians had chutzpah they'd keep out of your shops during Christmas time and shop at Christian based stores for that one-gift-they-will-buy.  Most churches have a gift shop, Hobby Lobby is Christian owned, as well as Mary Kay cosmetics. There are Christian book & gift stores galore on-line. Don't harass Christmas and we will bless you with our God-given money. Freedom of speech, you say? My antlers it is! It's just being plain mean spirited. Do you think Christians want to hone in on an Atheist's holiday? They can declare April Fool's Day as their High-Holiday. I'd be fine with it and have no desire to add my Christian sentiments to their special day.

I believe that anti-Christmas groups are emboldened because they know there are so many disinterested Christians. Poinsettia and lily church goers have no passion for Christ. The Birth of Jesus is nothing more than a time to over-eat, over-drink and out buy the Jones'. Many children from these Christian-lite homes have no clue why there's a star on top of the Christmas tree or that the lights on their house is supposed to reflect the Light of the World. Will disinterested Christians even notice when all remnants of religion are removed from "The Holiday Season"? Christmas Squelchers are counting on it, and as long as nothing gets in the way of the latest sale...it's all that matters...on both sides.  

The world is riddled with war. Our country is ablaze with anger and hate. So here we have a season to reflect on peace and good will to all humankind and society has allowed anti-Christmas groups to strangle it into silence. Really? Really? Instead of everyone banning together and using the joy, love and generosity of this Sacred Season to heal our hurting world...God's intention all along...they use it to slash the heart out of hope. They label it political correctness and freedom of speech when in fact it's the lying, liberal voice of Satan. If Christians had chutzpah we'd protect every wonderful, grace-filled aspect of Christmas as though we were protecting the Baby Jesus Himself. Merry Christmas.

Christmas, my child, is love in action.  Every time we love, every time we give, it's Christmas.
--Dale Evans

Love, Honor & A Four-Letter Word

The word is Obey, dear readers ;) And it's a word that often rubs people the wrong way. At least in this day and age. No one wants to obey...anyone or anything it seems. Not the police, teacher, parent, clergy/nuns, or spouse. God is at the bottom of the obey list.  Rules are made to be broken, right, so why obey them? Don't get me started.
The definition of obey is: to comply with or follow the commands, restrictions, wishes, or instructions of. I like the word "wishes".  It implies emotion, camaraderie, a desire to please. Obedient means: to agree to obey. Notice the word, agree. It doesn't say demand. It doesn't say twist one's arm. Agree is: consent...mutual consent.
On several occasions, broadcasters excitedly announced that the words-love, honor and obey would not be used in the vows at the recent royal wedding. Apparently, Prince Charles and Lady Diana were the first royal couple to omit the word, obey, and substitute cherish. Cherish Diana? Charles never did. His adulterous affair turned the word cherish into a fluff word with cotton candy substance. Don't get me started.
Cherish is a word used by most of us. I cherish my alone-time, old photographs and memories. Cling to & worship are definitions of cherish. I'm surprised feminists and today's free-thinkers like the word cherish any more than the word obey, in the light of these definitions. One example of the word cherish is: Many cherished the book. Gee, that's special. It would be remiss of me not to mention that cherish has some sweet meanings like, to feel affection for. I would reserve this for my pet, not my husband.

Obey is a much misunderstood word, especially when associated with the Sacrament of Matrimony. St. Peter set off an explosion when he commanded wives, “be submissive to your husbands, so that some, though they do not obey the word, may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, when they see your reverent and chaste behavior.”  What person doesn't know that you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar? Why should St. Peter's words cause such a stir? Why wouldn't a sweet disposition..a woman going out of her way for her husband not reap amazing benefits and maybe even, change?

A man who is right with God, who is considerate and loving, would never abuse the word, obey.  My husband wouldn't abuse the word, my son wouldn't and my nephews, too. Good men do exist. But, I guess that's not the experience for many women. How sad that women don't realize that the Holy Spirit guides the actions of a good man. How sad that it's not understood that our marriage vows are bonds of trust.

We are asked by Christ to love deeply, to love unselfishly. Obedience is when two people pledge to put the needs of the other ahead of their own. What a shame that we've dropped this word from wedding vows and lost the essence of a gospel-based marriage. One blogger wrote that obedience speaks of a sense of duty. What's wrong with ethical or moral principles governing a person's thoughts and actions, especially between a husband and wife? Don't get me started.
Why isn't the Holy Couple mentioned more often as an ideal portrait of marriage? St. Joseph didn't brow-beat the Blessed Mother. They had a most loving relationship. Mary is the epitome of obedience to both her earthly husband and to God. She is strong, decisive, independent & confident, yet feminine, compassionate, gentle and full of grace, a real woman.
I found this piece by Elizabeth Ficocelli at http://www.catholicplanet.com/articles/article72.htm  a wealth of inspiration and logic: There is no dispute that women are equal in dignity, grace and worth and certainly equally loved by God. In fact, God's plan for women has always been to elevate them to a position of honor and esteem in the home and, for a long time, the role of wife and mother was highly regarded by all. However, the increasing power struggle between wives and husbands in this past century has bred broken relationships, rebellious children, lack of love and divorce. Women have lost their value, becoming subject to man and degraded by society - exactly the opposite of what “women's lib” set out to achieve. The gospel call for the husband to be an authority figure, balancing complete submission to the will of his creator and perfect reverence for his spouse, is not an easy one, and one that comes with much responsibility and accountability.
If I were to renew my wedding vows today, they would be...love, honor, obey & protect. Why?  Sometimes, at night before I fall asleep, my husband holds me close and whispers, "I've got your back". I know in that moment that I am loved, secure and protected. I am flesh of his flesh, bone of his bone.  Obey is an equal opportunity...opportunity.

It's The Parents I Don't Get: Part 2

foryourmarriage.org



I could never be silent if my son were living with a young woman. He'd hear it from me..and often.  How could I encourage their playing house? Without a ring on the finger, it's easy to bail out when things get rough...like a revolving door..this year Mary...two years later, Sally, then who? Don't get me started.

A few years ago, my son visited with his soon-to-be fiancee, I made it clear before they came that they would be sleeping in separate rooms. And they did. Why? Because, I would someday stand before God and answer for what I allowed in my home. The outcome. They both understood, "My house...My rules."  It didn't harm our relationship. My now daughter-in-law loves and respects me. I did what was right...what God expected me to do. I believe that someday they will do the same. We need to lead by example.

What's with....it's okay for my 18 year old to go away for the weekend with her new beau? WHAT! Not with my permission, young lady. Yeah, they may sneak away, but not with my blessing. And bull...oh, you're just forcing them to lie. Let's see, "Well, God, I didn't want my teenager to be mad at me and lie, so I didn't stop her from sleeping with her boyfriend on their weekend get-away."

"How many years do you think it'll take your son to make a commitment to the girl he's living with?" I recently asked a friend, "Ten" she answered. Her son is an almost 30 year old, well-heeled professional living with his significant other for 5 years. Didn't her son know she was the one for him, like, two years into their relationship? That must really make Miss-Give-The-Milk-For-Free feel cherished.

So our kids sleep around, live together, have babies out of wedlock and parents don't voice their objection. Our kids dress like streetwalkers or grunge slobs, attend Mass in mini-skirts and low cut tops or don't attend at all, and parents don't voice their outrage.  Our kids listen to sordid music that tells them to disrespect authority, beat their women, have sex like bunnies, they watch, admire and emulate celebrities who cheat, lie, steal, send nude photos of themselves over their phones, binge on drugs and alcohol and parents don't tell them what low-lifes they idolize. Our kids don't marry in church, don't receive the sacraments, rarely pray and parents shrug.  Our kids don't respect their elders, use the "F" word as if it were an adjective, and parents ignore it.  Are these parents spineless?  Have they read too many flawed, liberal parenting books?  Have parents forgotton that they offend God by ignoring His principles?

We were all young once and did lots of fool hardy things. We sowed our wild oats. Did we do stuff we are not proud of--heck, yes. But I had hoped we learned from our own mistakes and would pass these valuable lessons along to our kids. Instead, we let all the worst of things perpetuate. Are there kids who do the right thing...yep. Are there parents who do the right thing, yep. Are they the minority....yep. And don't get me started about the geezers that decide they should live together to preserve their pension funds, etc. Oh yeah, like God is going to say, "Sure, the money was way more important than attaining heaven and you held out until you were 70...good for you"

foryourmarriage.org

Fact:  The risk of divorce is 50 percent higher for cohabitors than for non-cohabitors
Fact: Living-together couples have more problematic, lower-quality relationships and report less-satisfying marriage when they do marry.
Fact: Negative impact upon children, including a much higher incidence of child abuse (10 to 33 times more likely with unmarried couples)
Fact: Live-Togethers avoid discussing or dealing with problematic areas lest those discussions weaken or break their already tenuous connection
Fact:  Higher degree of repressed anger and avoid criticism of each other’s annoying behavior due to the fragile nature of  their relationship
Fact: Many Live-in couples fail to develop realistic and satisfactory financial habits. Couples treasure independence and economic equality. Solid marriages require interdependence and mutual exchange of resources.
Lastly: We are made in the image and likeness of God. We are spiritual beings. It's hard to quiet the guilt associated with living together. It forces many to lie to parents or avoid spending time with them, older relatives, and with God. If we are not in the state of grace...where do our blessings come from?  (adapted from Catholic Update )

If we think that God is not watching....think again. If we think we won't answer to Him when we stand before Him....guess again. If we think there's no more room in hell....think again. We are responsible for our children's spiritual well-being.  It starts with prayer for them when they are very young. We pray that the Holy Spirit removes the spiritual blinders from their eyes. We ask God to protect them from the sins of this world. We storm heaven! In the end, we may not be able to persuade them to be more moral, more obedient to God's commands, but we don't have to condone and celebrate their cohabitation, negative behavior and choices.  After we have done all we can do, with love and a firm resolve, we have to step back and let God have the final word. For me....I don't want to hear Him say, "And you stood by and said nothing? You gave your stamp of approval? Don't get me started."

It's The Parents I Don't Get: Part 1

Some who read this will say I'm a self-righteous, pompous ass. So be it. Some will say that I should not judge...or I shall be judged. So be it. It is America and anyone who reads this can say what he/she wants. And so I shall have my say.

When I stand before God, He will ask me, among other things, why I didn't speak up, but remained silent. Was I afraid to defend decency...to defend His laws? Was I embarrassed about what others might say about my opinions?  This is the sin of omission...You know, the part in the Mass when we tap our breast and say, "In our thoughts, in our words, in what we have done and in what we have failed to do..."

God remains ever the same. He does not change His law to suit modern society.  St. Peter's words in Acts 5:29

"We ought to obey God rather than men." still holds true today. The way God asks us to lead our lives takes precedence over what we think things ought to be, what we think is acceptable behavior using the guidelines of today's society.

If God seems distant it is because we are far from grace, His grace. When we complain that God has drifted away, it is not true. He remains constant, the same. We are the ones that move away from God, drifting away from the Light, sometimes into the gray, sometimes into the darkness.

I can better understand the "kids" today, then I can their parents. After all, it is those of the Baby Boomer generation who took prayer out of schools, tried to be "friends" with their kids rather than an authoritative figure, gave them creature comforts and never asked that they work for these comforts, decided that soccer practice was more important than church on Sunday, eliminated the sanctity of life...just to name a few. So add to that the smut kids watch on TV, the trash they read in the tabloids, the crap they listen to on the radio and  I "get" where the kids come from....garbage in, garbage out.

It's the parents I don't "get".  When did it go out of style to tell our kids, no....when did we think it was okay in God's eyes? "I'm so thrilled that my son is getting married in May," said a woman I'd just met.  "He's been living with his girlfriend for five years....their 2 year old will be the ring bearer." I was stunned. Not because her son was living with his girlfriend or that they had a 2 year old...sadly, that's common place. I was stunned that she was crowing about it! It took her son five years to do what was right, it took him two years to make the child legit and Grandma was just so proud of her boy. Don't get me started.

I know good men and women who just can't get themselves to tell their grown children that their immoral behavior is wrong, wrong, wrong.  God says that Cohabitation is wrong, but who are we to hurt our children's feeling and tell them we just won't accept it.  It's downright irresponsible for us, for the sake of their immortal soul, not to express our objection and concerns.

theknot.com


  And all this living together stuff....all this having babies before the "I do". Is cohabiting a step before marriage or a step before commitment?  What does the Church teach: We believe that marriage is the permanent union of a man and a woman, instituted by God. It is the total giving of each person's physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual being without reservations. This belief is grounded in the revelations of God, and the teachings of Jesus Christ. God's ways are the best ways for His children and when couples choose to cohabit there is no spiritual foundation for the union, no lifelong commitment, no promise of fidelity... which leads to instability. (adapted from: Our Sunday Visitor pamphlet, What The Church Teaches: Cohabitation )

How did living together become the norm? What happened to "principles"? A daughter moves in with her boyfriend and Dad doesn't take the young man aside and say, "No damn way my daughter is moving in with you without a commitment."  How about, you're living in sin....it's against God's law, and if you die, you have to answer for this? Duh.
Yes, kids are going to do what they want. But, do we have to condone it? This is the heart of this post. Make them uncomfortable, damn it. If you have a good relationship, it's not going to end it. Yeah, he/she will be ticked at you. But God will be even more ticked off. Who are you more afraid of..your snot-nose kid? Or the Almighty King of Kings! Don't get me started.

Part 2 is on the burner. It will contain FACTS on Cohabitation. So stay tune....and pray for our younger generation and those who turn a blind eye to immoral behavior. God bless.

Love Should Not Die At Death

Who will pray for me when I'm gone? Those words hurt my heart to hear. They are so sad...so mournful. This was the title of Fr. Floyd Rotunno's homily several Sundays ago. He relayed the story of a woman in I.C.U who knew her death was near. Her family was not religious and there was little chance they would pray for her soul when she was gone.
Do we pray for those who have died? I'm sure we think of them, talk about them, but do we pray for them? A soul in Purgatory can not pray for itself, but needs...desperately needs, the prayers of the faithful.
It has become an alarming trend to have prayers recited at a funeral home and NOT have a funeral Mass for a deceased loved one. Not having a Mass for a practicing Catholic is unconscionable. Often the family doesn't find a Mass important...it's just a "ceremony". They just want to get "it" over with and get to the party, I mean, repast.  Don't get me started.

Our Lady of Mount Carmel with angels and
souls in Purgatory
Baroque sculpture from Beniajan, Spain

So much is about window dressing....the funeral parlor is filled with flowers, collages of photos, slide shows to watch, a wreath in the colors of the decease's favorite sports team, but what's missing these days....Mass cards. At some wakes not one card can be found, the table that used to overflow with them, is bare. Fr Floyd preached that the greatest spiritual gift we can give is the dedication of the offering of a Mass for our beloved. Often, the funeral Mass is the last Mass offered to God Our Father for the soul of the deceased.

After the perfunctory prayer before the casket that solemn moment changes into a gabfest of laughter and joking. I'm all in favor of families chatting and reminiscing....softly. After all, many families only get together at weddings or wakes, so it's natural to want to socialize. But do it at the repast. What happened to mourners reciting the rosary? So much is about the grand exit....choosing "My Way" by Frank Sinatra for the recessional song. Where's the sanctity....the dignity? Don't get me started.
Many of these lapses begin way before a funeral takes place. Holiness is missing in a wedding where the vows are gurgled underwater with the dolphins as witnesses or as a couple dive out of a plane hurling to earth at 125 mph. If it wasn't important and sacred enough to be married in the House of God, the tabernacle close by and the real Presence of Christ being part of the first day of a couple's life, why should God be part of the last day of their lives?

In the book, The Hungry Souls: Supernatural Visits, Messages, and Warnings from Purgatory by Gerard JM VanDen Aadweg, the Holy Souls don't come back to necessarily shed light on the hereafter, but to plead for prayers and to ask for Masses to be celebrated in their name. Even Protestant souls return begging for Masses to be celebrated in their memory. Would it take a visitation from the dead to make one realize the importance of praying for our beloved? The souls say that it is also important to be generous to those less fortunate and to lend a helping hand to those in need. They cry out, "Be good, think good, speak good, do good" and offer our good for their release. Consider offering up humiliations for those who died with the stench of pride still clinging to them.
If your spouse, parent, child called out in need of your prayers, would you reject that plea? It does not change with death. Our deceased loved ones are often present around us...this is their plea:
" You in the world have no inkling of what we have to suffer! Being abandoned and forgotten by those who have been nearest to us in the world: that is most bitter. Sometimes they stand at the tombs of our decayed bodies and don't pray for us at all. They act as if we don't exist any more. God's justice commands us to be silent. But we stand at the doors of their houses, of our former dwellings and wait. Days. Years. We wait for them to give us a small sign of their love by prayer and sacrifices. But we stay there in vain. We cry in vain for love. For help!...We are still alive and we are hungry for love! For their love!" (Hungry Souls,  p121)
Praying for these poor souls....for the souls of our deceased loved ones is a continuation of the love we had for them on earth. Love should not die at death. No one should fret and fear and ask...Who will pray for me when I'm gone?

An Undivided Heart: Marriage & The Priesthood

A One dollar bill and a Twenty dollar bill met one day. "Hey, I haven't seen you in a long time," said the Dollar bill. "Where have you been?"
"Lots of places," replied the Twenty dollar bill. "Vegas, the race track, baseball games, concerts, places like that. And you?"
The One Dollar bill answered, " To church."

The joke brings a question to light,  "Who would support the families of married priests?"  &  this post asks, "Should priests marry?"
I can give you historical reasons, reasons that our church forefathers prayed about, discerned and decided was fitting for our great faith on why priests should not marry, but I'd rather give logical, practical and modern reasons, ones we can relate to.

I worked for the Episcopal Church. It was a wonderful experience. Episcopal priests marry, yet in some cases, it takes years to fill a post. Secularism and materialism are the main reason priests and pastors of all denominations are scarce. Being a pastor's family is like living in a fish bowl. The kids are held to a different standard than other kids, similar to children of law officers and judges. Gone are the days when the pastor's wife heads the strawberry festival, teas and quilting committees. They're college educated, career-minded women shaped in a generation where "me" comes first. I know one wife who called her pastor husband a half hour before the All Saints Evening (All Hallows Eve) service and complained that it was his turn to take the kids Trick or Treating because, "I did it last year and that's not fair!" Secretaries are privy to many things...and this was one conversation I wish I hadn't heard. Do you think the good pastor was distracted from his spiritual duties? Oh, BTW...that same wife tried to commit suicide, the pressure was so great.

So there's usually 2-3 priests living in one Rectory. Hmmm, 2-3 wives and without birth control about many kids would there be? All in one house...just picture that! Or the Church can just buy a home for each family, yeah that's the ticket. Let's throw in the mix.... cars/car insurance and the cost, education and the cost, ordinary living expenses like clothing, medical, food, vacations and teens can & do get into trouble and what that may cost...this is just the tip of the iceberg. Then there's the spousal and family problems...and the possibility of a divorce. How should that be dealt with?

Oh yeah...priests can get jobs to pay part of these expenses. "Excuse me Mr. Boss, but Mrs. So & So is dying...can I have an hour off to anoint her?" or "Ms Boss Lady, I have to do pastoral service at the hospital on Tuesdays, can I have those mornings off and please don't schedule me after 4 on Tuesdays & Thursdays that's when I help with our Religious Education program." Then there's Confirmation and Communion practices, Diocesan meetings, Passion Week & Christmas services and programs, Weddings (now also held on Thursdays & Fridays at 3 PM) oh, and Funerals...lets ask everyone to die when it's convenient. Don't get me started...

Sex...ohhhhh that, It's not normal for a man to be deprived of sex...priests have to get married. A guy once said to me, "If I don't have sex by day 3 I go screwy in the head" Huh? Where does the workings of the Holy Spirit fit in? So a man can't give up sex for the sake of God...God can't give a man the graces needed to be celibate? Come on people, what a tiny box we fit our Great God in when we try to use that reasoning. A lifetime of self-control...a lifetime of satisfaction serving the Supreme Being. Why that can't be! Could all those books, all those TV chat shows and sex therapists be wrong? And dear St. Joseph knowing the the Blessed Mother was the precious vessel that held the Christ within her...he couldn't possibly refrain from sex...after day 3 he would have gone screwy!
St. Paul, who was unmarried, wrote in Holy Scriptures on remaining single and being married.  In 1 Cor 7:20, he wrote "Everyone should remain in the state in which he was called." Considering it is God the Holy Spirit Who calls a man into the priesthood, He would also endow this man with the graces needed to remain celibate. *Theologically, the Church desires to imitate the life of Jesus with regard to chastity and the sacrifice of married life for the "sake of the Kingdom" (Luke 18:28–30, Matthew 19:27–30; Mark:10:20–21), and to follow the example of Jesus Christ in being "married" to the Church, viewed by Catholicism and many Christian traditions as the "Bride of Christ". (*from Wikipedia)

An aside: Isn't it odd that we rarely hear this argument about nuns? Does that mean women don't need marriage to feel fulfilled...complete? Do women have more self-control, less of an urge to have sex? Not according to statistics where virgins are few and far between, where droves of women have casual sex and a shocking number of married women cheat on their husbands. At a town-hall type meeting of a group of women ages 18-25, the gals agreed that sex with a man and or another woman was no big deal..according to them..sex was, well, just sex, and variety is the spice of life. No one mentioned companionship, relationship, commitment or love...no it was sex. My question, "How long before a nun denied sex goes screwy?" And contrary to popular belief....there are secular, single women who don't engage in sex because of their moral beliefs....nuns aren't the only ones blessed with grace & God-given self control. 

Now, this is not all about money and sex. When I have a bad day at home, my mind isn't on my work, and it's not on the "things of God". Though it should be, it's not. I'm terribly distracted. I can only imagine what it would be like for a married priest having problems with the kids, problems with his wife or in-laws. What about having an ill wife, an ill child? Can he serve his parishioners in the manner that God has set for him? Can he tend his flock properly? He is called to have "an undivided heart". Paul says in  1 Cor 7: 32-33 "The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife" Married, just getting centered and in a prayerful state to celebrate the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass would be difficult....ring, ring, it's his wife on the cell-phone. Son Dennis just broke up with Millie for the 4th time, he needs manly advice before he takes to drinking. Don't get me started...  What do you mean you have to say the Liturgy of the Hours and the Rosary...now? Don't you know Sara has soccer practice at 4 and I'm getting a pedicure, you have to take her! And so it goes...distracted? Do ya think?  And no, Protestant pastors don't have the same commitments....most churches have one, maybe two, services on Sunday, not 8-10 Masses on a weekend. They don't have 800 kids in their Religious Education classes...the ones I dealt with had a Sunday school program with 2 adult parishioners teaching the class....no First Holy Communion program or First Penance programs to oversee. Our priests are unique and special. No one seems to have a problem with a closing pitcher in baseball playing only one inning and not being asked to be more than a Closer. Why do we ask priests to concentrate on anything other than being a priest? Isn't it good enough that they are shepherds of lost sheep, prayer-centered clergy, counselors of the dismayed, doctors of injured souls, warriors for God?
In his 1973 book, The Priesthood, Karl Rahner discusses his interpretation of the awesome mission of the priest.
"In a sense, he (a priest) is always on duty," said Karl Rahner. "In the light of this sociological aspect of his life, the priest must clearly understand that he belongs body and soul, with all that he is, to this church, to her task, to her mission, her work, her destiny, and he can never disassociate himself from these things." (Rahner, page 101.)  
Should Priests Marry? They already are...they are married to Christ and His Church. It's a monogamous and life-long love affair.

Have You No Shame?

Genuine shame: is associated with genuine dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation (ashamed: to shame). Remember that word? It was used at a time when people took responsibility for their actions. It was when people blushed. You were ashamed of your actions if it harmed or embarrassed others, and not just because you "got caught". It would shame my family's good name if I cursed in public. My mother actually washed my mouth with brown soap because I called my sister a bum. I bubbled for a week. I wouldn't dream of shouting at my mother in public or at home. Nor would my son diss me or his dad.
There's something called, self control..it's not that I never do anything wrong, I just know there are boundaries not to cross.  I'm aware of an inner voice telling me not to do such and such, you know, the conscience.  My dad liked to say, "You have two things to fear in life....the Man in heaven...and me." And the fear he referred to wasn't the fear that he would hit me, no, it was the word fear as in the Bible. Fear...the respect for God.  I was taught and believed that God was watching. I had to answer for my actions...here on earth to my dad...and someday in heaven...to Abba.
These days, what we ought to be ashamed of, we boast about. The following was part of a conversation among a group of 50- Somethings, "My son has been living with his girlfriend for 5 years...finally...they're getting married. Their baby, who is 2, will look sooooooo cute walking them down the aisle." What's wrong with this picture? Lots. Let's not tell dear son that his behavior is wrong & affects others, nope, that might alienate him...he might get upset. Listen people...I'm not my kid's friend...I'm his parent. So, I parent and tell him when he's out of line or not in line with God. I actually say, "You ought to be ashamed of yourself." Phooey on his psyche. If throughout the years, a parent has shown love, support and encouragement...than your child knows how to take a reprimand. God approves of discipline, done in a Godly fashion. BTW...I'm not talking about the type of shame that a child feels when neglected or abused...but shame due to bad behavior when an adult ought to know better.
At what point did a parent become afraid of their kid's reaction to, "You can't wear a skirt up to your navel to Mass" or a tee-shirt that says, "Life Sucks" to Grandma's house. How about, " Sorry, young lady, church is no place to wear a blouse that shows cleavage." Where's the fear...the respect...for the Lord? When did it become admirable for a politician to stand before the press, announce his infidelity and people hearing it comment, "I give him a lot of credit to come out and tell the truth"? Tell the truth?...hey buddy...you've been lying for how long to your wife..you've now humiliated her and your family, disappointed the citizens who trusted you, but it's honorable that you told the truth? Before or after you got caught? Shame, shame, shame. You shouldn't have cheated to begin with!

Eve covers herself and lowers her head in shame
in Rodin's sculpture "Eve after the Fall".
(wikipedia)

There are 145 references to shame on the online New International Bible concordance. The Bible practically begins and ends with references to this word. The first is seen in  the book of Genesis 2:25, "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." So sin entered the scene and the sense of shame disappeared.  The second is found in the book of Revelation 21:27, where it speaks of the Holy City, the New Jerusalem. "Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life." It seems that God has a lot to say about shame and shameful behavior.

Contrary to the belief in psychotherapy that shame does damage to our self esteem and we should be purged of this inner-critic...I think a healthy dose of  feeling shame is a good thing. We ought to feel shame if we lie, slander some one's good name, drive drunk or while texting, use God's holy name in vain, or cheat. Yes, that "inner-critic" is the Holy Spirit convicting us, reminding us that we are not in keeping with God's laws. Shame is the sickness of one's soul...that dreaded, pit-dropping feeling that we've done something wrong. Our spirit should  feel injured.

Looking at the definition of shame in the first sentence of this post gives us the way in which we avoid feeling shame...be honorable, do little to disgrace ourselves so there is no need for condemnation. Let's be accountable for our own actions. If we bring shame upon ourselves, it's not the duty of a teacher, pastor, or even our own parents to remove the consequences..it is our problem to take care of our problems. We must ask God for the grace to do this..to remove the spiritual blindfolds from our eyes through prayer, fasting, meditating on Scripture, penance and attending Mass. We should ask the Holy Spirit to fine-tune our senses so we stop! before we shame ourselves. The roots of the word shame are thought to derive from an older word meaning "to cover".  If we should feel shame to the degree that we need to cover our eyes in embarrassment or guilt, then for certain we are in need of God's help. We are one step closer to humbling ourselves, to admitting that we need healing, forgiveness and most of all His guidance. God's love is infinite and there is no shame in admitting we are sinners in need of His mercy,  no shame at all.
**Don't Get Me Started Series