To Tempt Or Not To Tempt

We read and hear a lot about temptation. It takes on many forms. From the simple temptation of breaking that diet with a rocky road brownie to a soul-snatching adulterous affair. We are tempted to charge more than we can afford on credit cards. We are tempted to lie about our age and yes, I'm guilty....about my weight. The trouble begins when we start to skirt around temptations...playing just on the edge of sin.  Rest assure: Satan is always ready to push us over that edge.

Christ, God made man, was tempted by Satan in the desert, but did not succumb to the wily enticement of the Devil.  Though Satan was defeated, he continues to be a smooth talker who makes sin seem so right. Without realizing it....can we become that tempter?
Take a workplace scenario. I can't believe that a woman who dresses provocatively doesn't realize she's doing so. Add a flirtatious demeanor and being a tempter is not far behind.
When a coach suggests that an athlete takes performance enhancing drugs, he is leading the athlete to sin. He can sugar-coat the reason all he wants, but what he is suggesting is illegal and dangerous. In his heart...he knows he is doing wrong. He is a tempter.
An offer of drugs is not a "friendly" gesture. It could be the start of a lifetime of battling an addiction. Yes, we have the power to refuse, but peer pressure, depression, being in a "party" mood can weaken our resistance. Equally at fault is the person accepting the drug, but the shame lies with the tempter.

Over and over, we are told to lead by example. This is meant to be a positive statement. Yet, without being aware of it, our example can be riddled with negative temptations. This ties into my statement about skirting the rim of sin. Actions speak louder than words. How can we ask our children to be honest when we brag about the things we "got away with" or flaunt the supplies we take from work? How can we tell them to love thy neighbor when we spite the man next door?  We abhor bullies, yet scream and belittle our spouse. Many bemoan the "colorful" language we hear...could it be that it's what they hear at home? Do we tempt without even meaning to? If our favorite hang-outs are bars or casinos are we tempting others to drink or gamble? It may not be a problem for us, but ...?  Do the magazines we read, movies and TV shows we watch tempt us or others to dress, speak, think or behave in a way that offends God? The definition of 'to tempt' is: to entice or allure to do something often regarded as unwise, wrong, or immoral. Or, to tempt/seduce both mean to allure or entice to something unwise or wicked.  To seduce is literally to lead astray.

Remember the phrase, "The devil made me do it"? There's some truth in that. Satan and his demons relish enticing a believer. He/they are thieves, liars, and manipulators. As in the Prayer to St. Michael...'the evil one prowls the earth seeking the ruin of souls.' 
Temptation is not of God. He is much too much of a loving Father to dangle temptations in front of his beloved children. He would never, ever lead His own to sin. We all have a tendency to sin, so expect to be tempted and like Eve....to tempt. Few want to sin alone.  Prayer, fasting and being in the Word is our armour against temptation. Scripture says in 1 Corinthians 10:13, "You are tempted in the same way that everyone else is tempted. But God can be trusted not to let you be tempted too much, and He will show you how to escape from your temptation". God's grace is the victory to overcome it.

To avoid being a Tempter, we must call upon the Holy Spirit, asking Him to shine His light in all the dark corners of our life. We must try to be more aware of our habits and the example we are setting for children and adults alike. Be aware of innocence, esp. that of children. When we are conscious of purity, what is clean and good, we feel shame at soiling it. Look through the eyes of a child...how must it look to a child to see us fighting with anyone?  If we fill our mouth with praising God there won't be room for angry words, foul language or gossip. Our children will then be tempted to speak kindly, to know and speak the many sacred names of Jesus. Others may want to emulate our ethics and values...which points the way to God.

There will come a day when we will stand before God and give an accounting.  When I think about this, I shiver. It's one thing to have to answer for my own temptations...it will be awful to answer for the things I've tempted others to do.
"And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works. "—Revelation 20:12

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Have You No Shame?

Genuine shame: is associated with genuine dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation (ashamed: to shame). Remember that word? It was used at a time when people took responsibility for their actions. It was when people blushed. You were ashamed of your actions if it harmed or embarrassed others, and not just because you "got caught". It would shame my family's good name if I cursed in public. My mother actually washed my mouth with brown soap because I called my sister a bum. I bubbled for a week. I wouldn't dream of shouting at my mother in public or at home. Nor would my son diss me or his dad.
There's something called, self control..it's not that I never do anything wrong, I just know there are boundaries not to cross.  I'm aware of an inner voice telling me not to do such and such, you know, the conscience.  My dad liked to say, "You have two things to fear in life....the Man in heaven...and me." And the fear he referred to wasn't the fear that he would hit me, no, it was the word fear as in the Bible. Fear...the respect for God.  I was taught and believed that God was watching. I had to answer for my actions...here on earth to my dad...and someday in heaven...to Abba.
These days, what we ought to be ashamed of, we boast about. The following was part of a conversation among a group of 50- Somethings, "My son has been living with his girlfriend for 5 years...finally...they're getting married. Their baby, who is 2, will look sooooooo cute walking them down the aisle." What's wrong with this picture? Lots. Let's not tell dear son that his behavior is wrong & affects others, nope, that might alienate him...he might get upset. Listen people...I'm not my kid's friend...I'm his parent. So, I parent and tell him when he's out of line or not in line with God. I actually say, "You ought to be ashamed of yourself." Phooey on his psyche. If throughout the years, a parent has shown love, support and encouragement...than your child knows how to take a reprimand. God approves of discipline, done in a Godly fashion. BTW...I'm not talking about the type of shame that a child feels when neglected or abused...but shame due to bad behavior when an adult ought to know better.
At what point did a parent become afraid of their kid's reaction to, "You can't wear a skirt up to your navel to Mass" or a tee-shirt that says, "Life Sucks" to Grandma's house. How about, " Sorry, young lady, church is no place to wear a blouse that shows cleavage." Where's the fear...the respect...for the Lord? When did it become admirable for a politician to stand before the press, announce his infidelity and people hearing it comment, "I give him a lot of credit to come out and tell the truth"? Tell the truth?...hey buddy...you've been lying for how long to your wife..you've now humiliated her and your family, disappointed the citizens who trusted you, but it's honorable that you told the truth? Before or after you got caught? Shame, shame, shame. You shouldn't have cheated to begin with!

Eve covers herself and lowers her head in shame
in Rodin's sculpture "Eve after the Fall".
(wikipedia)

There are 145 references to shame on the online New International Bible concordance. The Bible practically begins and ends with references to this word. The first is seen in  the book of Genesis 2:25, "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." So sin entered the scene and the sense of shame disappeared.  The second is found in the book of Revelation 21:27, where it speaks of the Holy City, the New Jerusalem. "Nothing impure will ever enter it, nor will anyone who does what is shameful or deceitful, but only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life." It seems that God has a lot to say about shame and shameful behavior.

Contrary to the belief in psychotherapy that shame does damage to our self esteem and we should be purged of this inner-critic...I think a healthy dose of  feeling shame is a good thing. We ought to feel shame if we lie, slander some one's good name, drive drunk or while texting, use God's holy name in vain, or cheat. Yes, that "inner-critic" is the Holy Spirit convicting us, reminding us that we are not in keeping with God's laws. Shame is the sickness of one's soul...that dreaded, pit-dropping feeling that we've done something wrong. Our spirit should  feel injured.

Looking at the definition of shame in the first sentence of this post gives us the way in which we avoid feeling shame...be honorable, do little to disgrace ourselves so there is no need for condemnation. Let's be accountable for our own actions. If we bring shame upon ourselves, it's not the duty of a teacher, pastor, or even our own parents to remove the consequences..it is our problem to take care of our problems. We must ask God for the grace to do this..to remove the spiritual blindfolds from our eyes through prayer, fasting, meditating on Scripture, penance and attending Mass. We should ask the Holy Spirit to fine-tune our senses so we stop! before we shame ourselves. The roots of the word shame are thought to derive from an older word meaning "to cover".  If we should feel shame to the degree that we need to cover our eyes in embarrassment or guilt, then for certain we are in need of God's help. We are one step closer to humbling ourselves, to admitting that we need healing, forgiveness and most of all His guidance. God's love is infinite and there is no shame in admitting we are sinners in need of His mercy,  no shame at all.
**Don't Get Me Started Series